Alright, listen up.
You’re here because you need words. Words that sell. Words that slap your prospects across the face and make ’em say, “Take my money!” And you think you can just pluck some glorified typist off the internet and poof – sales pour in.
Let me tell you, you’re dead wrong.
Most of you are approaching this whole “hiring a copywriter” thing like a blindfolded monkey throwing darts at a phone book. You’re looking for cheap. You’re looking for fast. You’re looking for someone who “gets” your business, which, let’s be honest, you probably barely “get” yourself.
And that, my friend, is a recipe for disaster. A steaming pile of mediocrity that will suck your marketing budget dry faster than a vampire at a blood bank.
So, let’s cut through the bullshit. If you want a copywriter who actually delivers, who can craft words that ignite desire and pry open wallets, you need to understand a few fundamental truths. This ain’t about fancy degrees or a slick portfolio (though those can be nice). This is about results.
Truth #1: You’re Not Buying Words, You’re Buying Sales.
Get this tattooed on your forehead. When you’re looking to hire a copywriter, you’re not commissioning a literary masterpiece. You’re investing in a sales tool. A very, very powerful one, if you choose wisely.
Their job isn’t to write pretty prose. Their job is to convert. To take your prospect from lukewarm curiosity to screaming “YES!” and whipping out their credit card. If they’re not doing that, they’re not a copywriter. They’re a glorified content creator. There’s a difference. A huge, bank-account-sized difference.
Truth #2: The “Best” Copywriter Isn’t Always the Most Expensive (But They’re Rarely the Cheapest).
I see you, you cheapskates. You’re out there trolling Fiverr, looking for someone to churn out 500 words for five bucks. Good for you. Enjoy your five bucks worth of garbage.
A real copywriter – a direct response copywriter – understands the psychology of selling. They understand your market’s deepest fears, desires, and frustrations. They know how to construct an argument, build rapport, and close the deal with words.
That kind of skill isn’t cheap. And it shouldn’t be. You’re paying for expertise that can literally multiply your revenue. Think of it as an investment, not an expense. When you’re recruiting a copywriter, focus on their proven track record, not their hourly rate.
Truth #3: You Need a Hunter, Not a Gardener.
Most businesses want a copywriter who will “nurture” their audience. Give ’em fluffy blog posts and feel-good social media updates. That’s gardening. It’s nice. It might even produce a few pretty flowers eventually.
But you need a hunter.
You need someone who can stalk your ideal customer, identify their pain points, and then ambush them with an offer so compelling they can’t refuse. You need someone who writes headlines that stop traffic, leads that grab by the throat, and calls to action that demand a response now.
When you’re sifting through copywriter candidates, look for the ones who talk about sales funnels, conversion rates, and ROI. Not just “engagement” or “brand awareness.” Those are vanity metrics.
Truth #4: Your Ideal Copywriter Asks A LOT of Questions.
If a copywriter just nods their head, says “Sure, I can write that,” and disappears into their cave, run. Run for your life.
A truly effective copywriter acts like a detective. They’ll grill you about your product, your market, your competitors, your unique selling proposition. They’ll want to know your customer’s demographics, psychographics, and deepest, darkest secrets.
Why? Because they can’t craft compelling copy if they don’t understand the battlefield. They need to know who they’re talking to, what problems they’re solving, and why your solution is the only one that matters.
So, when you’re interviewing copywriters, pay attention to their questions. The more insightful, the more probing, the better.
Truth #5: They Should Understand Your “Voice” But Not Be a Mimic.
You want a copywriter who can adapt to your brand’s voice, absolutely. But don’t mistake that for wanting someone who just parrots back what you tell them.
A great copywriter will take your core message, inject their own persuasive power, and elevate it. They’ll find angles you hadn’t considered. They’ll articulate your value in ways that resonate far deeper than you could.
They should bring their own strategic thinking to the table. They’re not just word monkeys; they’re marketing strategists who happen to use words as their weapon of choice.
Final Word: Stop Guessing, Start Screening.
Don’t just pick the first person who sends you a reasonable quote. That’s amateur hour.
Develop a rigorous copywriter hiring process. Ask for samples that demonstrate direct response chops. Give them a paid test project – a small piece of copy, perhaps a headline or an email, and see what they deliver. Judge them on the results of that test.
Because at the end of the day, that’s all that matters. Not how many words they write, or how quickly they write them. It’s about how many sales they generate.
Now go forth and find yourself a real copywriter. One who understands that words aren’t just words; they’re the engine of your business. If you do it right, your bank account will thank you.
